Lost

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I was overseas on a business trip to London when I got lost looking for a client’s office.  I wasn’t just a little lost, I was vastly lost, and many blocks from my destination.  It was rush hour… lots of hurried people on the street.  I was standing to the side turning my useless hotel map around when I glanced up.  A man had walked past me and then looked over his shoulder, stopped and asked me if I was lost.  When I admitted I was and told him where I was going, he started to give me directions, then hesitated, checked his watch and said, “You know, I’ve been lost before. It’s frustrating.  But giving you directions is too complicated, just follow me.”  I made a decision that he was trustworthy, and he walked me to my destination six blocks away.  I thanked him very much.

Why did this person stop?  It was rush hour.  He obviously had other plans. He didn’t know me, and had nothing to gain from helping me.  For one thing, he had some empathy.

Empathy is the identification and the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person’s feelings, thoughts or experience.  It seems to me that one of the things we are lacking in our society, as well as in business today, especially in the relationship between sales and marketing, is empathy.

As a society, we don’t seem to care much for the millions without health insurance, or those struggling with education in our country, or even that climate change may threaten the lives of billions.  We argue a lot.  We frame.  We give our opinions.  But it’s rare to see us trying to understand another point of view.

One of the key tenents of sales is to understand our customers, but we seem so convinced by what we think, that we don’t hesitate to prescribe our solutions so we can close the deal.  In marketing, we stand ready to list the five reasons to buy our product rather than illustrate our understanding of the five problems our customers may have.  In the relationship between sale and marketing, marketing is always sure if sales would “just do these three things” that bells would ring.  (A good example of this gap and the effect of empathy can be seen in Jill Konrath’s “Candid Letter from Sales to Marketing”)

I know this sounds a little “Cum by ya”, but what would happen if we added a pinch of empathy to our interactions?  Added the human touch.  What if we asked and listened, instead of told?  What if we used story as a metaphor to illustrate our understanding?  What if we remembered the other person is thinking, “Do you understand me, can you help me, and do I trust you?”  Maybe we wouldn’t get lost on our sales and marketing journey.

PS: Have a great thanksgiving and safe travels.

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