What’s a two year-old’s favorite word? It’s “NO!” of course. And why do they use this word? Just to piss us off? How engaging! But that’s exactly why they learn and use the word… to be “engaging”. In a discussion of the way the brain works and metaphorical thinking, this is the single most powerful metaphor we learn to use. Here’s a quick way to improve your odds of engaging.
One of the keys to successful selling is controlling the sales process. This is different than controlling the customer or client. People don’t like to feel manipulated, so “selling” techniques such as asking which pen customers would like to use to sign the contract, lose the sale faster than a used car salesman saying, “Isn’t she a beaut.”
However the only single and slightly manipulative sales word I use is “No”. There are lots of ways to use the negative, but let me explain the context.
Let’s say you’re cold calling. You say hello, introduce yourself and quickly explain the purpose of your call, and provide some reason for the client to talk to you. Then you pause and ask, “Have I caught you at a good time?” What do you think the most common answer is? The most common answer is “No!” regardless of how compelling your introduction is or whether they really have time. And we get the same feeling as when confronted by a two-year old.
What’s happening here? Even if your prospect was perfectly neutral in their interest, what we’ve experienced is a person’s natural tendency to “disagree” in order to engage. People are wired like this since they were two.
Another example might be illustrated by commenting on the weather to a friend. “Isn’t it a nice day?” Ever get the answer, “But it’s going to rain.” Even if you reverse the statement, “Looks like a rainy day,” you will often get disagreement, “Oh, I heard it might clear up.” What is happening is that people will use disagreement or the negative to engage in the conversation. After all, what’s the response if you simply said yes to either of the above statements? The conversation dies and goes nowhere. Remember that the brain learns and thinks using metaphors. As children we see the reaction from the word “No” and learn to use it to engage.
So, how can we use this tendency to engage customers? If you want to risk being slightly manipulative, simply begin by using the negative. Consider the following two statements: 1) Have I caught you at a good time? vs. 2) Have I caught you at a bad time? They are equivalent in absolute terms. But remember people tend to disagree in order to engage. Their natural response is “No” to both questions. Answering “No” to the first question doesn’t get you a continuing conversation, but answering “No” to the second question gives a positive response or at least an admission that they may have a minute or two. In actual practice, asking the negative question here gets a positive response 60% of the time!
This can be expanded to other negative questions. For example, “Next week isn’t too early to discuss the proposal?” Or, “You don’t think your boss will be surprised, do you?”
Is this manipulative? Well, yes, it is. I have never used either of the last two statements and don’t recommend you do, but you should be aware of the language. However, when used to engage and extend an initial conversation, so both parties can find out if there are mutual reasons to engage, then I believe it’s OK. But you wouldn’t want to push it, would you?
Lee Stocking
Prairie Sky Group
Driving Sales Through Customer Focused Marketing
lee.stocking@gmail.com
651-357-0110 (24×7)