Group dynamics in meetings and decisions are influenced by the social pressures of the group.   You’ve heard the cynical old expression that the best decision of a committee is worse than the best decision of any one individual in the meeting.

Here are some signs that you may have a problem.
• Your business project or goal is deteriorating. You have missed deadlines, costs are rising, and there is a lack of participation, or even defection of members.
• Blaming and excuse making.  You hear, “It’s not my fault… I’m dependent on someone else, and they didn’t do their job.”
• Private discussions.  Individuals looking for support for their unheard position while tacitly agreeing with the group decision.
• Ad hominem attacks.  Attacking the person rather than challenging the assumption, the stated fact, or reason .  “He can’t possibly deliver on time because… he’s too tall, never here, not old enough etc.”
• Failure to celebrate successes, and being lavish with praise.  Though marketing and sales people aren’t kid soccer players that get trophies for fifth place, we all like to hear we’ve done a good job.

The first key step in avoiding the Road to Abilene is to prepare for the meeting, discussion or decision.
• Invite the right people.  People who have knowledge and expertise as opposed to just influence.
• Make sure that data and information are available prior to the meeting.  Many meetings spin off because there is no data.  As a result, the person with the strongest opinion or power often dominates.
• Make sure that everyone knows the objective of the meeting and the results expected.
• Have a process for evaluating options and impacts.
• Allow enough time for making the decision.

The second step is to understand the difference between real agreement and mismanaged agreement.   Both have the same visible end result and may be hard to distinguish.  Understanding the signs and circumstances of false agreement can help tip you off.
• Is the “boss” or one person of power dominating the meeting?
• Do people feel free to really express their opinions?
• Are they allowed to express their ideas?
• What is their body language?
• Is the discussion respectful?
• Is the discussion ever allowed to boil over?
• Are the participants comfortable with disagreement?
• Is the leader comfortable with disagreement?
• How comfortable are the participants and the leader with risk?
• Does the group understand how the final decision will be made?  By consensus or by the leader?
It is helpful to establish a set of guidelines for discussion that allows everyone to gate keep when others are being ignored or disengaged.

My belief is that 80% of misalignment in meetings and decisions is by two factors;  1) individuals feeling like they didn’t get heard, and 2) the fear individuals have of making a mistake or sounding stupid.  It takes some guts to challenge the social power of a group.  Individuals also often mimic the quietness of a leader mistakenly believing that speaking last, or not talking, is a sign of power.

It also takes some guts for a leader to expose themselves by checking and probing individual positions and gate keeping.  Patience is a virtue here.  It may seem like the process is taking longer than it needs to, but consider the costs of mismanaged agreement; lack of buy-in, low morale, low productivity and even counter support and sabotage.

Another step is to ask if all possibilities have been investigated and whether the group is confident with the data and information.  Each individual’s perspective and knowledge is unique and they each have something to contribute.

Just because you’re on the road to Abilene doesn’t mean you can’t turn around. Unless you need to go on to get your tattoo.

Do Great Things!

Lee Stocking
Prairie Sky Group
Making Sales Cry with Qualified Leads
lee.stocking@gmail.com
651-357-0110 (Cell 24×7)

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In the past two posts, I’ve tried to answer why we, as humans, are so ready to agree with others, even when we know it’s wrong, or not what we think?  The real question should be what can we do about it?

People who know me might say I am a bit of an iconoclast, always questioning the prevailing norm (see “There Are Alligators in the Sewers of NY“).   But I often have others say to me after a meeting, “I wished I’d asked that question.”  It’s a kind of a pain in the ass trait, and not one that will endear you to some management or others.

I can’t say when I acquired the trait, but I am reminded of a short film I saw once a long time ago (before the “Internets”, video and Youtube) called “The Road to Abilene.”  It was developed by management expert, Jerry B. Harvey, and it had a profound impact on me, to the extent that I can see the black and white film in my mind years later.

“The Abilene Paradox as it has become known, occurs when a group of people collectively decide on a course of action that is counter to the preferences of any of the individuals in the group.  It involves a common breakdown of group communication in which each member mistakenly believes that their own preferences are counter to the group’s and, therefore, does not raise objections.*”

The film is a story of a family of four, a mother and father, their daughter, and son-in-law sitting on a back Texas porch in 110 degree heat.  The daughter says, “I could sure use some cold ice cream.”  Then the son-in-law says, “I know a great place for ice cream.  What do you think Mom?”  Mom says, “Well if you kids want ice cream, I guess that’s OK.  What do you think Dad?”  Dad says, “Sounds fine to me Mom.”  Three hours later, the film cuts to them in their non air-conditioned car, covered in sweat on the way back from Abilene.  They’re each irritated with the others, claiming it wasn’t their idea to drive 110 miles to Abilene in 110 degree heat.  Mom says something like, “That was a great idea.” The moral of the story is obvious.

Yet, it’s a common occurrence in business, and it is a huge suck on productivity and morale.  So what are some things you can do to avoid taking the Road to Abilene?

Do Great Things!

Lee Stocking
Prairie Sky Group
Making Sales Cry with Qualified Leads
lee.stocking@gmail.com
651-357-0110 (Cell 24×7)

*Wikipedia

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Recent experiments and research at the Weizmann Institute by Prof. Yadin Dudai and his students may show why we are susceptible to group pressure.

Here’s a quick summary.  They first showed a documentary film to a group, then asked them recall questions about the film three days later.  They also asked them how confident they were in their answers.

Next, they asked them back to the lab to ostensibly undergo an MRI.  While under the MRI, they again asked them recall questions, but gave them a “lifeline” of answers that the rest of the test group had supposedly given.  Planted among these helpful answers were false answers to questions the subjects previously answered correctly.   You can guess the result.  The test subjects now changed their answers to these questions giving the wrong answer 70% of the time in order to conform to the group.

The question at the root of the experiment was to determine if the subjects had just given into peer pressure, or whether there was something actually happening in their brains.  Repeating the test again, the subjects were told the lifeline answers they were given were not those of their fellows, but randomly generated answers.  Yet over half of them stuck with their new (falsified memories) answers.

For the false memories, the results of the MRI showed a strong coactivation between two areas of the brain; the hippocampus (involved in long term memory formation) and the amygdala (influencing the emotions and social interaction).  The amygdale is the lizard brain my daughter used to when thinking about her tattoo.  It may also be required to approve certain types of memories and act as an approval stamp.

The tendency to give into group pressure may have had a survival component in evolution.  When the leopard is approaching a group of baboons, you don’t have time to ask why your fellow baboon is jumping into the tree.  We are no longer baboons (only literally speaking), but we still have the synapses between the lizard brain and the hippocampus and forebrain.  So what do you do when everyone around the conference table nods in agreement to an idea that no one individually would agree to?

Do great things!

Lee Stocking
Prairie Sky Group
Making Sales Cry with Qualified Leads
lee.stocking@gmail.com
651-357-0110 (Cell 24×7)

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