Here’s a video book review of The Trust Edge
I recommend you put this book on your Christmas
list for any marketing or sales people you know.
Lee Stocking
Prairie Sky Group
Making Sales Cry With Qualified Leads
lee.stocking@gmail.com
651-357-0110 (Cell 24×7)
Group dynamics in meetings and decisions are influenced by the social pressures of the group. You’ve heard the cynical old expression that the best decision of a committee is worse than the best decision of any one individual in the meeting.
Here are some signs that you may have a problem.
• Your business project or goal is deteriorating. You have missed deadlines, costs are rising, and there is a lack of participation, or even defection of members.
• Blaming and excuse making. You hear, “It’s not my fault… I’m dependent on someone else, and they didn’t do their job.”
• Private discussions. Individuals looking for support for their unheard position while tacitly agreeing with the group decision.
• Ad hominem attacks. Attacking the person rather than challenging the assumption, the stated fact, or reason . “He can’t possibly deliver on time because… he’s too tall, never here, not old enough etc.”
• Failure to celebrate successes, and being lavish with praise. Though marketing and sales people aren’t kid soccer players that get trophies for fifth place, we all like to hear we’ve done a good job.
The first key step in avoiding the Road to Abilene is to prepare for the meeting, discussion or decision.
• Invite the right people. People who have knowledge and expertise as opposed to just influence.
• Make sure that data and information are available prior to the meeting. Many meetings spin off because there is no data. As a result, the person with the strongest opinion or power often dominates.
• Make sure that everyone knows the objective of the meeting and the results expected.
• Have a process for evaluating options and impacts.
• Allow enough time for making the decision.
The second step is to understand the difference between real agreement and mismanaged agreement. Both have the same visible end result and may be hard to distinguish. Understanding the signs and circumstances of false agreement can help tip you off.
• Is the “boss” or one person of power dominating the meeting?
• Do people feel free to really express their opinions?
• Are they allowed to express their ideas?
• What is their body language?
• Is the discussion respectful?
• Is the discussion ever allowed to boil over?
• Are the participants comfortable with disagreement?
• Is the leader comfortable with disagreement?
• How comfortable are the participants and the leader with risk?
• Does the group understand how the final decision will be made? By consensus or by the leader?
It is helpful to establish a set of guidelines for discussion that allows everyone to gate keep when others are being ignored or disengaged.
My belief is that 80% of misalignment in meetings and decisions is by two factors; 1) individuals feeling like they didn’t get heard, and 2) the fear individuals have of making a mistake or sounding stupid. It takes some guts to challenge the social power of a group. Individuals also often mimic the quietness of a leader mistakenly believing that speaking last, or not talking, is a sign of power.
It also takes some guts for a leader to expose themselves by checking and probing individual positions and gate keeping. Patience is a virtue here. It may seem like the process is taking longer than it needs to, but consider the costs of mismanaged agreement; lack of buy-in, low morale, low productivity and even counter support and sabotage.
Another step is to ask if all possibilities have been investigated and whether the group is confident with the data and information. Each individual’s perspective and knowledge is unique and they each have something to contribute.
Just because you’re on the road to Abilene doesn’t mean you can’t turn around. Unless you need to go on to get your tattoo.
Do Great Things!
Lee Stocking
Prairie Sky Group
Making Sales Cry with Qualified Leads
lee.stocking@gmail.com
651-357-0110 (Cell 24×7)
In the past two posts, I’ve tried to answer why we, as humans, are so ready to agree with others, even when we know it’s wrong, or not what we think? The real question should be what can we do about it?
People who know me might say I am a bit of an iconoclast, always questioning the prevailing norm (see “There Are Alligators in the Sewers of NY“). But I often have others say to me after a meeting, “I wished I’d asked that question.” It’s a kind of a pain in the ass trait, and not one that will endear you to some management or others.
I can’t say when I acquired the trait, but I am reminded of a short film I saw once a long time ago (before the “Internets”, video and Youtube) called “The Road to Abilene.” It was developed by management expert, Jerry B. Harvey, and it had a profound impact on me, to the extent that I can see the black and white film in my mind years later.
“The Abilene Paradox as it has become known, occurs when a group of people collectively decide on a course of action that is counter to the preferences of any of the individuals in the group. It involves a common breakdown of group communication in which each member mistakenly believes that their own preferences are counter to the group’s and, therefore, does not raise objections.*”
The film is a story of a family of four, a mother and father, their daughter, and son-in-law sitting on a back Texas porch in 110 degree heat. The daughter says, “I could sure use some cold ice cream.” Then the son-in-law says, “I know a great place for ice cream. What do you think Mom?” Mom says, “Well if you kids want ice cream, I guess that’s OK. What do you think Dad?” Dad says, “Sounds fine to me Mom.” Three hours later, the film cuts to them in their non air-conditioned car, covered in sweat on the way back from Abilene. They’re each irritated with the others, claiming it wasn’t their idea to drive 110 miles to Abilene in 110 degree heat. Mom says something like, “That was a great idea.” The moral of the story is obvious.
Yet, it’s a common occurrence in business, and it is a huge suck on productivity and morale. So what are some things you can do to avoid taking the Road to Abilene?
Do Great Things!
Lee Stocking
Prairie Sky Group
Making Sales Cry with Qualified Leads
lee.stocking@gmail.com
651-357-0110 (Cell 24×7)
*Wikipedia
There’s an old adage in coaching that says when the team wins, the reason is because the team played well, and when the team loses, the reason is due to the coach.
As managers of sales and marketing teams, we hold a responsibility. Of course there are differences between coaching kids teams and managing business teams. We can fire team members, and we can change things when we are dissatisfied with the results. But before you do, it’s prudent to ask:
Lesson number ten. Most of the time when a team fails, it’s about the coach.
Do Great Things.
Lee Stocking
Prairie Sky Group
Making Sales Cry With Qualified Leads
lee.stocking@gmail.com
651-357-0110 (Cell24x7)
Both of my kids played varsity as freshman for a pretty good private school, Cretin Derham. I say that as a proud father, and I note that I only coached one of them for one season. (Maybe cause and effect.) Their school was always competitive and went to state almost every other year.
One of the teams they played was an inner city school, Como. Many of the kids at Como couldn’t afford good soccer equipment and often showed up in tennis shoes. The first time they played Cretin, they lost eight to nothing. The Cretin coach used subs, and made everyone pass three times, and shoot with their off foot.
In order to remain competitive, Cretin often played schools outside their conference. But the schedule allowed at least two games with each school within the conference.
The second time Cretin played Como, it was a different story. To say it was the same Como team would be an understatement. Some of the kids still wore tennis shoes. But on the field they played great soccer. In the end, Como lost to Cretin two to one. Cretin used no subs. There were no off foot shots. To my mind, beyond all odds, Como had essentially won.
I was impressed enough that I apprenticed myself to their coach for a season. I learned more in that season about what motivates and develops a team than in any other three seasons in my career. Lesson nine… look at managing sales and marketing teams as a privilege. Managing successful teams is not as easy as it looks. Find someone to teach or mentor you. If you’re not taking advantage of learning how to be better, then you should relinquish your position to someone else.
Do Great Things.
Lee Stocking
Prairie Sky Group
Making Sales Cry With Qualified Leads
lee.stocking@gmail.com
615-357-0110 (Cell24x7)